Act II: Bottomless Nacho Bar
Flavorville Grill & Bar, Somewhere?
Date: Thursday, April 30th, 2043
Time: 7:30 pm
Weather: ???
Butcher's Bill
Cerberus 26 S.D.C. (Omega Suit)
Twitch 9 S.D.C. (hood)
Elsewhere
Not to get too personal with you, dear reader, but what is the worst first impression you have ever made with someone? Have you ever disparaged someone to a stranger only to find out that stranger is the the object of your scorn's significant other? Or met a musician just after hearing them absolutely bombing their set*? Or told a crude joke that struck a very personal note with someone you haven't even exchanged names with? I must confess, I absolutely hated one of my closest colleagues for the first month we worked together.
How will this turn out for Cerberus and Twitch? It's hard to say, but it's not an auspicious start. They barely know each other and now some sort of feral ape is charging at them. It bares its short racoon like teeth, foaming dripping from the edge of its mouth. Instinctively Twitch jumps forward to confront the creature head on. Deciding to back up his new companion, Cerberus waits until the creature is close enough and then punches Twitch in the back of the head (-9 S.D.C to hood), beginning a fight that's just as the conversation these two just had.
Twitch lurches forward just as the creature attacks, ducking just below its claws. Seeing an opportunity, he smacks the monster in the ribs with his combat baton. Jeremy follows up with another punch that misses both the creature and Twitch. This is enough of a distraction to allow Twitch to dodge the creature's next attack. And he then swings again with his club, hitting Cerberus instead (-8 S.D.C. to Omega Suit). Was this an accident or was Twitch lashing out in frustration? I cannot say.
Perhaps taking the clue, Cerberus turns around and punches the creature squarely in the nose. It lunges at Jeremy and sinks its saw-like teeth into his shoulder (-10 S.D.C.). Twitch swats at the creature but instead hits Cerberus in the neck (-8 S.D.C.). Cerberus responds in kind, punching the monster in its neck, forcing it to leap off him. It's at this moment that the two heroes finally fall into sync. As the creature flies off Cerberus, Twitch catches it with his baton and knocks it to the ground. As it rolls away from him, Cerberus takes a step forward and punches it one more time in the head.
The creature lets out a pained yelp and then falls over dead. What started as poorly improvised slapstick ends in a back-and-forth chain attack that looks choreographed.
The Meat Freezer
Meanwhile, Diomedes and Edison are confronted with even more death, as they stare at all the carcasses in the red meat section of the meat freezer. Both are satisfied that it is exactly what it appears to be and there's nothing more nefarious to it than what's already wrong with the beef industry. Diomedes suggests checking the other rooms to see if they are hiding anything nefarious. Edison agrees, but first wants to interview the employees working the giant grinder**.
Edison wrote:"How long have you two been with the company?"
"Four years," says the first man with a low drawl.
"Came in as a BBQ pit master, but now I'm a jack of all trades around the grill."
"Halfway through my second," the other says with a chipper Australian accent.
Edison wrote:"How do you guys find your way around here easily?"
"It takes practice, I'll tell you," the first man says with a chuckle.
"Yeah," the Aussie nods,
"I think it started to make sense during my fourth over-nighter. The shift managers encourage you to sleep here to get used to the place. But sometimes it feels like someone is leaving you clues about where to go."
"It sounds superstitious," Tex concedes,
"but sometimes it's like the halls move around to get you somewhere faster. It's hard to explain."
Edison wrote:"So besides being in a pocket dimension, anything weird that you'd care to talk about happening here?"
"It's working with people from other franchises," Tex replies.
"Officially I work for the Dallas restaurant, but these burgers we're making could go anywhere around the world."
"I'm from Perth myself," the other man says,
"but I work odd shifts that are mostly tied to the 'chef's table' rooms in here. Those parties can get pretty wild, that's all I'll say."
Edison wrote:"Anything I should be worried about while on tour back here?"
"Yeah, those little buggers in the monkey suits," the Aussie says.
"The bosses say that they're the bus boys," Tex adds,
"but they don't look human to me. I don't know where they come from."
"Usually keep to themselves, at least."
While Edison wraps up his interview, Diomedes explores the other fridges. Sure enough, the orange door covers poultry of every kind, from turkeys to game hens; whole roasted Peking ducks hand from hooks under a red lamp in one corner. Just like the red meat fridge, the poultry fridge is staggeringly large, and Diomedes still suspects he is in a tesseract. Or maybe a TARDIS. Then again, the drugs can go a long way to explaining Flavorville.
Likewise, the white room is for all things pork, but also rabbit and veal. The black room is for offal, as promised, with bins of organs lining the sides of the chamber. But what really impresses Diomedes are the sausages; thousands of them hang along a series of small narrow corridors stacked up 10 stories high. And in the middle of the room are a dozen machines, some actively churning out varieties of encased meats. This leaves the pink room, which opens to a bins of ice filled with fresh fish from every ocean in the world. He squints off in the distance and he can even see some tanks that contain live fish as well. The wooden door on the other side of the chamber sure enough contains aging meat, and the stench is keeps Diomedes from exploring it much further.
Then there's the gray, or off-white, door. It's the only one that is locked. Which begs the question: what kind of meat is gray?
WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS?
*
Shout out to DJ Dead Dog Dick, actual stage name, who opened for Panda Bear in 2017. I struggled so hard to find a nice thing to say to him when we were standing in line at the bar.
**
Just to keep things moving along more briskly, I'm going to have Edison interview the guys at the grinder while Diomedes inspects the other doors. And I'm also rearranging the dialogue because of course I am.
GM NOTES
Rift root
Duration: 12 hours
Effects: ability to see and pass through porous dimensional barriers; see people who are also under the influence of rift root; -10% to all skills; - 1 to all combat bonuses
Traveling around Flavorville
To move from one location in the restaurant to another, you must successfully roll land navigation (don't forget there's a -10% penalty for using rift root). If your PC does not have land navigation, then you may roll the skill at 20%. If you pass the skill roll, your PC arrives at the desired location. If they fail the roll, they will end up somewhere else.
Traveling with Sammy Hagar negates the need for a land navigation roll. If traveling in a group without Sammy Hagar, every PC must roll land navigation, but only one successful roll is necessary to reach the desired destination.
- Dry goods pantry
- Fresh produce pantry
- Meat freezer
- Frozen bar
- Chef's table rooms
- Pass
- Deep fryer 'aquarium'
- Flame grill pit
